Ask Charles: "How can I let go?"

Dear Charles,

I let go of an unhealthy relationship months ago... in my head. But, my heart is hanging on and hurting. How do you stop missing someone you loved so much but who you know was so unhealthy for you?! I have never been so baffled by my own jumbled emotions.



Hi Emily:

Too often, when someone puts too much in to the wrong relationship, they end up attaching their senses of self-esteem and self-worth... meaning: "If I am truly lovable/worthy, they will love me... change for me... see me as valuable and treat me better." As they continue to put in less and less, the other puts in more and more... endlessly looking for them to reciprocate. By putting in more, it leaves even *less* self-esteem and self-worth available... and when the relationship ends, that esteem and worth leaves with it. The only way through is the time to get back into yourSELF... rebuild.


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