Ask Charles: "I'm in love with a married man..."

Dear Charles:

I'm in a crappy situation. He loves me. I KNOW he loves me. But he's with his wife and isn't filing for divorce. It's been two years, and I keep waiting. I love him and can't let him go. I texted him last night and this was the response I got. He ALWAYS needs more time. What do I do? I'm sick of him being with that bitch!



Dear Anonymous:

Firstly, you don't know if she's a "bitch". What you have is one half of a story about a relationship... a relationship HE IS STILL IN. For the last two years you have allowed yourself to be an option for a married man. Maybe he is miserable in his current marriage... but you won't even know what you have with him until he is clear of his current relationship and you both can see what the possibilities are after he closes that chapter of his life.

My advice: Let go. You don't have a partner, or a lover, or a friend. You are with a man that has the best of both worlds... and you are BORROWING him. His marriage isn't "over" like he is saying, otherwise it would be over and he would leave. Kids, etc... I get it; separation can be messy. But right now you have half a relationship... and are merely an option. Get clear, and let him do the same... then you'll know.