Step #1:
Choosing what you want.

 

I'm not asking you: "What do you want from a romantic relationship?"

I'm asking: "What do you want... AS YOU? As an individual. For yourself.

 

When you really think about it, it's kind of a weird thing to ask.

Because so many people don't think about what they really want nearly enough.

They don't consider themselves worthy of what they truly desire.

They are taught that it's selfish to think of ourselves.

They've been told to always put others first.

They've been slammed with the message that it's OTHERS FIRST,  then yourself.

But its not wrong to consider what you want. SO...

What about you?

What about what YOU want?

From life?

From love?

From your partner?

From your job?

From your kids?

From your family?

From the world around you?

 

Are you happy?

Because if you aren't happy — and inside you are miserable — you are about to start down a dangerous, damaging spiral.

 

If you aren't happy as an individual, how can you be happy in a relationship?

Do you think you'll magically become a different person when you find The One?

How long would that last, anyway?

No matter who you are with or what relationship you're in, you can't ever run away from YOU.

And if you're unhappy inside, it's hard to look at it. 

It's hard to do the work to change it.

You end up looking outside yourself to feel good and happy.

You assign your senses of self-worth and self-esteem to someone else. 

You feel good if someone else feels good about you.

nd for a time, it works.

But inside—no matter how hard you try to fool yourself, you know you're not happy.

You aren't asking yourself what you truly want.

You aren't acting in accordance to your real wants and needs.

You aren't living your truth.

You end up selecting a partner might not be all you want... because you aren't clear.

To find the right partner, you have to BE the right partner.

You have to be decently clear on who you are as a person.

You'll need to be centered on what you want from your own life.

You have to know what you'll expect from a partner.

 

Because being in a relationship doesn't mean you give up your individuality. 

They are supposed to ADD to your life, not BECOME your life.

What you want is important — now and always.

You have to think about what you want every day.

You have to evaluate your wants, because they will change as your life changes.

(Write that down. No; seriously. Write it.)

Knowing what you want and making you a priority is the first step on your journey towards lasting love.