When first dating, men usually go above and beyond in their efforts to listen, please, and participate — romantically, physically, and monetarily. However, once they have put in the initial effort and their needs start being met, behavior can change and the effort they’ve been putting in slows. Often, men then start providing the bare minimum required, leaving women wondering what the hell happened, and why he is putting in less and less (as she started putting more into the relationship to compensate). Nowhere is this more glaring than on weekends.
If a man works all week, most often he looks his best Monday through Friday — shaven, pressed, combed, and spritzed with pleasant scents. And if Friday brings date night, that effort might stay at the forefront. But then, inexplicably, a transformation happens sometime between late Friday night and Saturday morning.
Enter: the Saturday Guy. Hair unkempt, unshaven, shorts, tank top, flip-flops, without a care in the world.
Truth be told, I’ve been found by my wife in this dilapidated condition more times than I care to remember. After a long week of work, commuting, and with a mind full of the NEXT week’s work to come, I just want to zone, chill out on the couch, and let cable TV wash over me. I’m just trying to unwind. Weekends are for relaxing, right? Of course! But in reflecting, it’s not right to give the outside world my best, and leave the crumbs for my family. With a gentle reminder from her, I become aware of my physical state and, summoning what’s left of my pride after being caught, I shuffle off to make myself presentable before our kids are fully conscious of my deplorable condition.
But the Saturday Guy doesn’t always listen. He is stubborn, and can stay around for a while, passive-aggressively promising to do what’s needed (for his family/significant other, for the house). But before long, Saturday morning is gone and 4:00 PM rolls around. Then, this situation is further compounded when “the Phone Call” comes in Saturday evening.
After giving their best to others all week, some men will put in zero effort all day Saturday, dead to the world, complaining that they are tired, run-down after a long week, just wanting to relax... which may, if fact, be true... but then... the Phone Call. It’s the guys, and it’s Saturday night — time to go out/play poker/get a cocktail/hit the club. Miraculously, this tired, run-down man is cured, and he levitates off the couch with vigor, is showered, shaved, and shining by the door, kissing his loved ones as he exits for a night of further unwinding. (And is his wife left to “relax” at home with the kids?)
This is a long-held double standard that challenges relationships. Whether dating or married, the Saturday Guy doesn’t have a place anymore. Sure, relaxing on the weekends is part of what rejuvenates us, resetting us for the coming week. But when the Saturday Guy prevails and leaves those around him without the man they love, something should change. (Besides, if he does go out with the guys Saturday night, we haven’t even discussed the aftermath: the Sunday Guy with a Hangover.)
(And yes... there are most CERTAINLY women who exhibit these Saturday qualities, too... but that is the subject for a different article. ;)